Dec
16
“Our friend works in finance and met his gf on the Internet. ____ just said ‘he wouldn’t know how to spread sheets if it weren’t for OK Cupid.’”
Bros Texting Bros
Grab a natty ice and find out just what went down last night with you and your bros
Dec
12
“I CAN’T SEE IT. SHE BLOCKED ME AND NOT YOU?????? WHY DO YOUR EX GIRLFRIENDS HATE ME MORE THAN YOU”
Nov
30
“Do I bail on the date to bang a sure thing slut??”
Nov
18
“Phase two: drunk sup ____ a little harder- engaged.”
Sent on Nov. 18th at 10:34am CST
Nov
15
“Well, it took a while but ____ finally boned a mom”
Oct
28
“So many girls I’d bang at this Filippis”
“Since I’ve texted you las night, I’ve had 4 Fernet shots and 5 cocktails. God Bless America”
Oct
23
“Autism is a myth”
“She tried to kill you bro”
Oct
8
“People say I’m a whore but _____ has blown infinitely more dicks than me.”
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